Tag Archives: activity

National Trust: a mini series

Throughout this series, I thought I would she some light on various National Trust sites. I’m going to grade them on 4 categories and then an overall:

Parking

Family Friendly

Vegan Options

Extras

Overall

I thought it would helpful for those of you that are unsure whether it is suitable to take the kids in the holidays, to take the older generation for a wander round.

Of course I’ll post some pictures (all taken on an iPhone 6S camera) and some general ‘helpful hints’.

 

If there is somewhere you want to go but not sure, just let me know and I’ll visit 🙂

Over and out

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Mum Guilt – Does it ever fade?

What is “Mum Guilt”? You know, it’s that overwhelming feeling of doing something wrong by your child, for example, going to work, going out for the evening, first day of school. Have you ever had that peculiar wave of emotion come over you when you leave your 6 month old at Nursery for the first session so that you can go back to work, or to the gym? That’s “Mum Guilt”. Now just because this has been titled “Mum Guilt”, doesn’t mean that its a female emotion, I know of some Dad’s that feel this too.

As a single parent, aged 21, I experienced “Mum Guilt” on a daily basis. Sometimes it was my own fault and sometimes others made me feel bad. Older women who state that I should have waited to have a child if I couldn’t cope. Coupled up Mums who state that their other halves supported them through this. Yes Thanks. So helpful! Parenting is tough, we shouldn’t be making each other guilty when our own conscious does enough damage.

My first “Mum Guilt” struggle was in May of 2012…Lily’s first session at Nursery at 6 months old. Now we had done 3 settling in sessions but this was the first official “see-you-later” time. It only lasted 5 hours but felt like it was ages. Walking away from her little face (who hadn’t noticed I had gone) gave me this overwhelming sense that I was doing something wrong.

I wasn’t.

I was doing what any other mum does, allowing her daughter to socialise and learn. I wasn’t due to start work until August, however wanted to give Lily the time to settle in, and in case it all went tits up, enough time if she needed to be moved. I went back 4 hours and 45 minutes later to reports that she was perfect and seemed to really enjoy herself, well as much as a 6 month old can. I told myself that “Mum Guilt” was unnecessary. The key workers at nursery were fab and Lily stayed there until she was almost 5.

Another guilty day was the first trial day at Primary School in June 2016. People forget that when the children go to school, they are only 4  (sometimes 5). They have only been on the planet 4 years, and yes Lily had been to Nursery but this didn’t make this new stage any easier on me. We arrived not knowing anyone (Nursery was in one county, school in another), Lily was quiet and could probably sense my high-running emotions. We walked into the Hall to introduce her to her teacher with her hand getting tighter around mine. Yes the guilt was starting to rise…who are these teachers? They don’t know Lily and what she is like. They don’t know me or our situation. I was trying harder and harder to make it seem exciting for my slightly anxious 4 year old. The announcement came that all parents were to leave and the children would be taken into their classrooms. I popped a sweet in my mouth (was once told that sucking sweets reduces the chance of tearing up due to the same muscles being used) and tried to get Lily to go with this teacher.

After 10 minutes of my best persuading and this teacher eventually grabbing her hand and leading her away. “Mummy” being shouted down the corridor whilst I walked away and tried not to look back. Yes the tears came, and it still makes me choke even now and she has almost finished her first year there.

“Mum Guilt”

I did the whole convincing myself speech on the walk back home. She has to go to school. They know what they are doing. They do it all the time. I’m sure they are lovely. She will have fun. She won’t have even missed me.  And true to that, she had a great time.

So after these two, and many other, experiences, how do I cope? Well I started with distraction techniques, going shopping, watching a movie, going out for tea. This was fine until I had two minutes to myself, usually on the loo, and the tears would appear again. I then tried spending time with family who have been through this. But when I thought about it, I actually found that my “Mum Guilt” was worse in the build up to an event rather than while the event was happening.

So I did what any normal person would do…try not to think about it. Does that ever even work?

I found that I needed to do my research. Ask the questions I needed to ahead of the event and that it was the “unknown” that was making me feel this way. What was my child going to be doing? How can I prepare her for this? As her mother, what can I say?

My advice to you is to talk about it. Talk to other mums about how you are feeling, talk to your child about how you are feeling. Yes they are younger and less mature but you will feel better talking it through with them.

You aren’t doing anything wrong. You parent the way you believe is best, and you are doing your best! Don’t let anyone or anything make you feel that you aren’t. Like I said, parenting is tough…but let’s support each other through it.

You can do this!!

Good Luck!

Over and Out

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Christmas at Kew

Yes the title reads “Christmas at Kew” however we actually went on New Year’s Eve. We were in the rare situation where all 3 of us were off…yay…family trip!

The pictures of the Christmas trail were beautiful, see more on the website – Christmas at Kew

I’ll tell you a little about it and then tell you my thoughts.

The trail opened between 5pm and 10pm, with last entry being 8.35pm. You could book tickets online, or pick up at the gate, but knowing how popular the event was last year, I chose to book online. So tickets were £18 per adult and £10 for a child (4-16) for peak times. This allowed entry into the trail but didn’t include any rides. It also doesn’t include entry into Kew but with it being dark you couldn’t see much anyway. Parking was also extra, £7 and is only from the North gate, Brentford. However, we are closer to the South gate, Victoria so didn’t book parking.

I booked us into the 7pm time slot knowing that there was no parking and hoped less children would be there during this time, even though I was taking my own…i’ll explain later.

We gave ourselves plenty of time as we knew there was an unknown regarding parking. We drove to Victoria Gate and found a street where there was parking spaces, about a 3 minute walk from the gate. We got to the Entrance at 6.44pm and they were letting people in…phew…didn’t want to wait in the cold.

Now the trail is about a mile long, and it’s quite easy to follow. There are platforms to stop and take pictures at so that you don’t get in the way of others who wanted to stroll through. There were also Mulled Wine/Cyder and Roasted Nut stands along the way. We dutifully followed the trail ooo-ing and ahh-ing at the incredible displays and the obvious time and effort that had been put in.

All in All we were there about an hour and a half which got us home in time to watch Harry Potter 🙂

My Opinion – please bear this in mind this is my own opinion and not meant to cause offence.

I felt for the time spent, that £46, that it was a waste of time. Yes the lights were pretty and yes Kew is an expensive place but for 3 people…

I also had an issue with some of the people there…Kew is a respected and well-loved place…Do Not Let Your Children Abuse it. There were children running all over the gardens, not paying attention to littering or to the paths. This frustrates me. I would, in now way, allow my child to be this disrespectful. (Rant Over).

My final words…go and visit but I won’t worry about going again.

Hope you all had a Good New Year and here’s to a fabby 2017.

Over and Out

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